1 hour ago
Birmingham Competitive Contract
📍 Location: Anywhere that's not currently under a grey cloud
💰 Salary: Paid in Vitamin D
⏰ Start date: Immediate
With the rain making an unwelcome return, we're searching for a highly motivated individual to locate the nearest patch of sunshine and report back to the rest of us.
Key responsibilities:
☀️ Tracking sunny microclimates
☀️ Providing live updates on blue-sky sightings
☀️ Recommending beer gardens with optimal sun exposure
☀️ Convincing everyone that "it's brighter over there"
Essential experience:
✔️ Refusing to believe summer is over
✔️ Checking weather apps every 12 minutes
✔️ A proven ability to chase the sun whenever it makes a brief appearance
If this sounds like you, please submit your application today – we're not enjoying the rain at all ☔
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, this isn't a real vacancy (although we'd happily interview anyone who can guarantee sunshine). Sorry! 😅
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